Extempore Effusions on the Completion of Masechet Nazir Perek Aleph (כל כינויי נזירות)

A person may say many words:
“Behold they’re upon me, the birds”
“Nazik” and “Naziach”
“Eheh” and “Paziach”
He is thus a Nazir (it’s absurd!).

The tractate “Nazir” – this we find
Close to “Sotah,” that is, right behind:
Why? If one sees a dame
Who has been through that shame
He will swear he will drink no more wine.

If he says “Eheh” he’s a Nazir
Maybe he means to fast? Swear off beer?
If that’s all that he mentioned
We guess his intention
Because when he vowed one passed near.

“I will be like that man whose own eyes
Have been gouged by those Philistine guys”
With these words he alludes
(Though his language his crude)
To the famed Samson, so we surmise.

A “Samson Nazir” never shaves
(Don’t get busted by Philistine knaves!).
He does not break his vow
And need not bring a cow
If he steps by mistake on some graves.

As a “lifetime Nazir” you may cut
Off your hair every thirty days. But
If you come near the dead
It’s not “off with his head”
Still, he’s stuck in the sacrifice rut.

If one vows, “Nezirut! Nezirut!”
He becomes a Nazir twice, to boot.
He shaves on day thirty
And then brings a birdie
At day sixty, so we compute.

“I’m a Nazir to Kalamazoo”
Vows a man. But how can that be true?
Count the days that it takes
To walk there (feet will ache!)
Nezirut lasts that long, we construe.

Says a man “All my house now I sell
Top to bottom.” But he does not spell
Out which parts are included;
The buyer concluded
He’d also acquired the well.

If he vows, “A nazir! I am one!
For the number of days of the sun!”
That is three sixty five
Months; Alas, to survive
That has to this date never been done.

“I’m a Nazir Pentagon!”
That is Greek for “five.” He takes upon
Himself 150 days
Or so Sumachus says:
Vow in Greek, Nezirut is still on.

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